Wednesday, November 26, 2008

This feels like a brand new beginning for me.
*stifles laughter* CORNY!! *prepares plastic bag for puking*
No more foolish attempts to achieve people's expectation. I have to stop being so fake with people, trying to be friendly. I mean, if its natural, then its okay. But i thought that i should change myself for my own good.
Why?
Because when i was being my normal self, quiet or 'anti-social' as they say, its really a pain in the ass. Because you know obviously i will be left out when people form groups for projects and stuff. And then, people's attention would be on me.
Yeah I know i'm one of the 'outcast' as they say, whatever. Maybe some sympathizes for god knows why but what i hate the most is when people actually pay attention to me and such.

Okay, i guess i'm a little insecure of being judged and stuff and i should join those "Have Confidence" classes. Hmmm... I guess i've improved in terms of confidence.

Now i'm not much of scaredy cat, just a little.. hehe.. But gosh!! I want to puke looking at all those people trying to be nice to each other because they want to be 'popular'.. I'm not saying its wrong to be nice and polite. I mean, a fake attitude and personality, just to be liked.

I want to puke looking at myself too. I can even shit smoothly. Gosh, is my constipation cured?? Woohoo!!!

Shut up bitch.


Well, i have a motive for why i want to change myself. I'm selfish, yup i am. If i'm on friendly terms with many people, during group work and stuff, it can get the job done faster without anyone (other than me) feeling uncomfortable.
All for my own benefit.

Aah, i'm such a contradictory person and a hypocrite. Yup, i am.

Well, at least i know that.

Like since forever.

Gah, can you please shut up, you big dickhead.


Why the heck am i wasting my time here again?

God knows why? Nah, let's not burden the big guy up there. I don't mean God is male and stuff. Ah shuddup, stop analysing my sentences, you bastard.

tea is served @ 1:40 AM --------------------------------------------------------------